His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
