isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
