I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
