Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
