How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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