screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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