I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
