i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
