yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's blow job season.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
