I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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