Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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