I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
