"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
