woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
