i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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