It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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