I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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