dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
