Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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