Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He better not be in your backpack
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
