worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
