So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
