y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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