You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
