i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
