woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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