watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
