On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
only you would photoshop your dick
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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