So drunk its hurt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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