And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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