Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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