people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
