Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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