I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
