she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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