i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
