i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
