I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
