Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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