i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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