Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
