Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
