i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
