Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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