You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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