Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My bed smells like the plague
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