No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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