woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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