Just fell off a train. Bad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
