i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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