the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
