So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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