I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
