4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
