Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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