As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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