i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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