It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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