coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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